I crashed a client's website during a migration two years ago.
Not a brief blip but a full day of downtime because I missed a DNS configuration that should've been obvious.
It was the kind of mistake where you're refreshing uptime monitors every thirty seconds, fielding angry calls, and wondering if this is the one that loses the customer altogether (and maybe throw in an unfriendly Google review for extra burn).
However, six months later, I was better at migrations than I'd ever been. I built checklists for things I used to trust to memory. I got comfortable telling clients "we need an extra day for DNS propagation testing" instead of rushing to impress them.
My clients started trusting my timelines more, not less.
What I didn't realize at the time: I was experiencing post-traumatic growth. It's the concept that some people don't just recover from difficult experiences, they fundamentally change in ways that wouldn't have happened otherwise.
Not despite the struggle, but because of it.
Here's what makes it interesting: this kind of growth happens most reliably when people have strong social connections to fall back on.
It's not about rugged individualism or "what doesn't kill you" platitudes.
Our brains need psychological security to process adversity without just shutting down. That security comes from other people — colleagues who still include you in lunch plans, a manager who doesn't write you off, professional networks that stay intact even when your reputation takes a hit.
The growth shows up in predictable patterns.
People develop a clearer sense of what actually matters in their work. They get better at empathy because they've been on the receiving end of judgment. They often describe a deeper sense of purpose — not in a vague, inspirational-poster way, but in a "I now know exactly what I'm here to do" way.
They recognize possibilities they couldn't see before the setback forced them to look.
The thing is, this doesn't happen automatically. You can go through something difficult and just end up bitter or defensive.
The difference is usually whether you had people around you who made it safe to stay open instead of armoring up.
Which means the growth isn't just about the person who went through it. It's about whether the rest of us create the conditions for it to happen.
Before you head into the weekend, think about someone in your professional circle who's dealing with a setback right now. Not a catastrophe, just a visible stumble.
A project that didn't land. A pitch that fell flat. A reorganization that didn't go their way. You know who I'm talking about.
Reach out. Not with advice or silver linings. Just normal contact. Forward them something relevant to a project they're working on. Ask their opinion on something you're thinking through. Include them in plans. The message underneath all of that is: you're still here, you still have value, this didn't erase you.
If you're the one who's been through something hard, pay attention to who stayed present. Those people aren't just being nice, they're giving you the psychological security that makes growth possible instead of just survival.
And notice what's shifting in how you see your work. The clarity that comes after a setback is real. Don't ignore it just because it came from a painful place.
We think of professional growth as something that happens through success. But some of the most significant shifts happen when someone gets knocked down and the people around them make it safe to get back up differently than before.
That's the thing about post-traumatic growth. It's not about the trauma. It's about what becomes possible when we don't have to face it alone.
Did this resonate with you? Forward it on to someone who could use it too. These insights are better when shared.
Cheers,
Alex
Disclaimer: I'm a curious researcher, not a licensed psychologist. I study these concepts because I believe understanding how our minds work can help us navigate life more effectively. This content is for educational purposes only and should not replace professional advice. Please consult qualified professionals for personal guidance. Individual results may vary, and readers should use their own judgment when applying these concepts.